“We have to stop and get a nice bottle of wine, he’s a ‘VP,’ he’s in so-and-so’s vertical.” Or group or whatever the hell strange and twisted game they play up there in Round Rock that means you’re supposed to kiss this guy/gal’s ass because they report directly to a guy/gal who reports to a […]
Read more "Swing for the Fences"
The L&L Tavern sits on North Clark, about half a mile south of Wrigley Field. The owner’s a bit of a celebrity and, should he deem you worthy of service, can set you up with your favorite liquor and/or Stroh’s, PBR or Blatz. Or, of course, an Old Style. It’s rumored that both John Wayne […]
Read more "A Killer Evening."
Leslie Cochran: A Photoshoot to Remember I would say something like, “for those of you living under a rock…” when I reference Leslie Cochran but that’s unfair. Not everyone had been to Austin between 1996 and 2012 and not all of the people who had met the former mayoral candidate and constant drag queen(slash)urban outdoorsman. […]
Read more "What was the question?"
You meet the damndest people in a second-rate graduate school. Mine was near Preston, England, not far from Manchester, slightly closer to Blackpool. If you’re not familiar with Blackpool… you lucky bastard. The main administrative building on campus flew an English, a British and a Chinese flag. This struck me as odd for about an […]
Read more "Everybody Chen Wang Tonight"
The Russian Embassy After I spent a few months in England at University (as they say), a friend from Tennessee came to visit. School was near Manchester but we all wanted to meet in London. Most people do. By “we,” I mean my Tennessee friend, my girlfriend, and some flatmates. The Crew. We would make […]
Read more "Happy New Year"
Tom Waits and the North Georgia Woods A tale of two men, two flight attendants, a once-in-a-lifetime concert, the world’s best/worst strip club, 9mm Glocks and some possible incest. “Once in a lifetime” doesn’t do it justice. A chance to see Tom Waits live on what would likely be his final tour? Give me a […]
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Part One (Uno) The people of Lentini, Sicily are eating well. They’ve got their crispelle, their arancini, briosce with granita and – of course, pizza and pasta. They’re not starving, in fact they’re eating like kings and queens. This hamlet, not to be confused with their very close neighbor, Carlentini, has a rich history of […]
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Uno First you hear the cow’s joyous “MOOOO!” Then comes a recorded human voice over the same loudspeaker, an excitable man shouts something or other about propane gas tanks. Then the cow moos again. That’s how you know you’re in Oaxaca City, Mexico. That’s also how you know it’s 7:35 am, the bastard. Backing up […]
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For once I was in constant contact with my AirBnB host and she knew when to expect me. For some reason phone service was working again. Her name was Anke, Danke without the D, and she was just delightful. A strong, independent feminist type so I was completely comfortable in her badass penthouse apartment near […]
Read more "Hanover. Or Hannover. No One Knows."
montreal My “frenemy,” as he likes to say for some reason, was scheduled to be married across the Hudson from West Point one June afternoon. Even though he uses that moniker, I was to be a groomsman. On my way to New York from Texas, it occurred to me that, because my job lets me […]
Read more "Montreal: Fake Paris"